EP 94: Selective Amnesia

Welcome to the Capacity Conversations Podcast. This is the safe space to talk openly and honestly about the challenges we face while managing the competing priorities between our personal and professional lives. Many of us are in corporate, entrepreneurs, or a combination of the two — while also being moms, wives, caregivers, big sisters, church leaders, or the go-to person in our families and friend groups. And without intentional alignment, all of that responsibility can quietly turn into over-functioning, burnout, resentment, and maxed-out capacity.

In this episode, we’re talking about something many of us do without even realizing it: selective amnesia.

Not the medical kind — the everyday kind where we overlook patterns, excuse behavior, or minimize what we’re feeling because telling ourselves the truth would require us to make a difficult decision. We see it in relationships. We see it in family dynamics. And we definitely see it at work.

Sometimes, selective amnesia has us tolerating chaos, normalizing behavior that should’ve been addressed a long time ago, or convincing ourselves something “isn’t that bad” even when our mind, body, and spirit are telling us otherwise.

In this episode, I walk through real-life examples of how selective amnesia shows up in everyday life — from family gatherings where the same behavior gets excused over and over again, to workplaces where we minimize toxic culture or misalignment because the paycheck or benefits feel too important to walk away from.

I also share a personal story about experiencing migraines every Sunday night in a past role — and how I kept explaining it away instead of acknowledging what my body was trying to tell me.

Because the truth is this: Even when we pretend something didn’t happen… our capacity remembers.

We talk about how selective amnesia impacts each of the five capacity pillars — cash, health, heart, work, and faith — and how unresolved patterns slowly drain our energy, our peace, and our ability to show up fully in our lives.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying things like:

“Maybe I’m overthinking it.”
“Maybe I’m being too sensitive.”
“It’s just a stressful season.”
“That’s just how they are.”

This conversation is for you!

Ways to Stop Practicing Selective Amnesia:

1. Tell yourself the truth
2. Look at patterns, not moments
3. Stop explaining away your own experience
4. Pay attention to resentment

As a Capacity Coach and HR Leader, my philosophy is simple: healthy habits + healthy people = healthy businesses. When we manage our capacity well, we lead better, love better, and live better — without sacrificing ourselves in the process.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. We break cycles over here. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast — it makes a bigger difference than you know.

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Nicole’s Contact Info:

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